Tag Archives: Fatherhood

An ode to the family restroom

I’m sure those of you who are parents already have an idea where I’m going with this. Perhaps you’ve shared these feelings a time or two. For the rest of you, I too had no idea how essential the family restroom would be. Before Mac, I’m not sure I even noticed them. I mean, I’m sure I’d seen them before, but never appreciated the genius and necessity, that is the family restroom. I certainly never thought I’d be so appreciative of one to think to write an “Ode.”

Ode: noun \ˈōd\ a poem in which a person expresses a strong feeling of love or respect for someone or something. This is the definition straight out of my Webster’s dictionary, well, the online dictionary because let’s be serious. Although this isn’t exactly a poem in the traditional sense, I will be expressing some love and certainly respect for something.

Target. That’s right, we were back at Target. Probably the third time in a week, but not even close to my record of 7 times in four days right before the holidays. (Don’t even ask). My wife and I had just spent 30-45 minutes shopping together for groceries, baby food, diapers and other essentials when she announced she wanted to look at the women’s shoes. “Sounds good, Mac and I will take the cart and go look at books,” I responded.

We never made it. About to turn the corner into the book aisle, I noticed Mac’s face turn progressively into various shades of dark reds and purples, coupled with a few grunts. He was filling his pants, no doubt about it. Under normal circumstances I would continue shopping and worry about it later, but there was a smell. Not unusual of course, but it was getting increasingly potent. I glanced down to see if his diaper was visibly full and that’s when I saw it. He had a small wet spot on his jeans that was growing down his right leg. It seemed to double in size every second I stared at it. Immediately I rushed the cart to the front of the store. I located the shoe department, and when I found my wife, I said, “watch him! I’m running to the car to grab the diaper bag!”

After rescuing the diaper bag from the car I raced back in to find my wife already by the restrooms. Knowing full well that this was a two person job, we opted not to play Rock Paper Scissors to determine who gets to change him. I asked if they had a family restroom, which they did, but of course it was occupied. While we waited we assessed damage. My wife had already removed his sock and shoe to reveal his messy diaper had made its way all the way down his leg out the bottom of his jeans onto his sock and into his shoe.

In.his.actual.shoe.

By the time the family restroom door opened, I was holding a plastic bag under his foot to prevent his stinky mess from reaching he ground! When we actually got into the restroom to clean him up, all we could do was laugh. It was almost as though he missed the diaper entirely and shot everything right down the pant leg. Did that really just happen? Did anyone see us? But it didn’t matter. We were safe now, inside the comfort of the family restroom. We could take our time, use as many wipes as needed, and break out the change of clothes. The entire time our little man giggled hysterically on the changing table.

I am so thankful for family restroom that day. This would have been miserable for so many reasons if one of us had to use the individual male or female restrooms.

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“I’m not so sure this story is doing me any favors with the ladies, Dad..” -Mac, unimpressed.

Overboard! AKA Fetch, Daddy

We have a new favorite game at our house, and one member of the family is particularly good at it. We’ve named this game Overboard. It’s a simple game, really, where Mac will take anything that he can and drop it to the floor. I’m sure he has been playing long before I realized it was a game, but I can still remember the very first time I noticed. It was my mother-in-law and her twin sister’s birthday back in August and we were celebrating at the local hibachi restaurant.  Mommy and Daddy were taking turns holding Mac, who would’ve been just over 6 months at the time. I remember that night in particular because we realized that going to dinner with Mac was going to be different from now on. No longer would we be able to take turns holding him and then put him into his car seat when the food arrived and enjoy dinner while he took a nap. Mac was taking a stand and that meant, everything within arm’s reach needed to be on the floor. From chopsticks, to napkins, to his bottle or Mommy’s phone, they were all sent flying to the floor. We laughed with him at the time, and Daddy would reach down each time to pick everything up. This was likely a mistake as Mac soon trained Daddy to pick everything up and give it back to him.

Fast forward to today, and Mac has perfected his overboard technique. Everything that he can get his hands on continues to be dropped to the floor. Now that he’s on the move, it’s become a whole different game.   If I set him down to play in his pack and play for a few minutes, he immediately stands up, and one by one drops his toys over the edge. When he’s in the high chair eating, he plays, dropping his puffs or his crackers over the edge. (which Lucky appreciates)  The most popular time is when he’s being held and he specifically pulls his pacifier out of his mouth, straightens his arm, and releases as if to say, here Daddy, please pick this up so I can drop it again. Recently he’s added a new element. After Mac drops his chosen item, he looks down at it, and says very clearly, “uh oh.”  He says it so much, my wife asked me if that was really going to be his first word. I said, I guess it’s better than “Fetch, Daddy.”

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Okay Daddy, I’ve cleared everything within arm’s reach and then some, anything else you’d like to put in front of me? -Mac